Being financially ready to date sounds sensible. Dating costs money, and eventually relationships involve bigger questions about what kind of life two people can afford together.
That is partly why something Ryan Bang recently said about Yeng Constantino stuck with me.
Looking back on the time when he was starting out and pursuing Yeng, Ryan became emotional as he remembered having little money, no car and not even enough to comfortably pay for dates.
“Wala akong pambayad ng date, wala akong kotse, wala akong pera,” he shared during an interview on It’s Showtime.
IMAGE CREDIT: GMA Network/YouTube
What made the story more painful was learning that Yeng actually liked him too. During her recent Biyaheng Bente concert, Yeng said she had a huge crush on Ryan then and even remembered telling him to simply show up at a restaurant because she would take care of him.
Their almost-love story has become material for “what if” conversations online. But as a woman looking at it from the other side of the courtship, I found myself wondering:
Would it really bother me if a guy I liked admitted that he did not have much money yet?
I do not think the answer is automatically yes.
But I also do not think money does not matter.
Not having much and being bad with money are 2 different things
There is a difference between a man who is still building his financial life and one who expects you to carry it for him.
Someone can have a modest salary, commute instead of drive and choose inexpensive dates while still being financially responsible. Someone else can earn much more and still spend beyond his means or borrow money he cannot repay.
That distinction matters more to me than whether he can afford an expensive dinner.
The US Consumer Financial Protection Bureau describes financial well-being in terms of control over day-to-day finances, the ability to absorb financial shocks and progress toward goals.
Having less money does not automatically make someone irresponsible. Having more of it does not automatically make someone relationship-ready either.
Every date need not be expensive. I need it to be honest.
If a guy I genuinely liked told me, “Hindi ko afford ’yan ngayon,” I would rather hear that than watch him spend money he does not have just to impress me.
A date can be coffee, merienda or a walk somewhere nice. You can plan around limited money.
What becomes harder to plan around is someone who is constantly pretending.
IMAGE CREDIT: CDO Foodsphere
And yes, I can pay sometimes. I can split a bill. I can treat someone I like.
But being willing to pay is different from being expected to pay.
“I can support you” isn‘t the same as “I will support you”
If someone is going through a difficult financial period, that alone would not automatically make him undesirable to me.
Maybe he has just started working or is trying to move into a better-paying career.
What matters more is what he is doing about where he is.
Does he take responsibility for himself? Can he talk about money honestly? Does he see his partner as a partner, or as a solution to his financial problems?
There is a huge difference between building alongside someone and dragging someone toward stability.
Sometimes, you meet someone before the money comes
Before Cong TV and Viy Cortez became one of the country’s most recognizable creator couples, Viy was already with him while he was still building his YouTube career.
She once pushed back against the assumption that she dated Cong because he was already successful, saying they were together before he was earning from it.
Cong later looked back on those leaner years in their wedding vows. One memory he shared was Viy putting just ₱20 worth of gas into his motorcycle before they drove around Laguna together.
TJ Monterde has also spoken about a period early in his marriage to KZ Tandingan when work had slowed down so much that he asked his management to lower his talent fee just to get bookings.
He said KZ was in a stronger position financially then, but she never made him feel inadequate because of it.
In August 2026, TJ revealed that he had since bought land in their dream location, where he and KZ plan to build their home.
But stories like theirs should not become an excuse to tell women, “Tiisin mo lang. Successful din ’yan someday.”
There is no guarantee that the person struggling today will become the next Cong TV or TJ Monterde.
What you can evaluate is the person in front of you now.
Is he working toward something? Does he take responsibility for himself? Does he appreciate support instead of treating it as something he is entitled to?
Men also feel pressure to prove themselves thru money
The traditional courtship script is familiar.
The man asks the woman out. He pays. He brings gifts. He is expected to show that he can provide.
So when you cannot do those things yet, it may be easy to assume that you should not pursue anyone at all.
Ryan seemed to focus on what he lacked. Yeng, apparently, was not measuring him by exactly the same things.
That does not mean every woman would react the way she did.
It simply suggests that having enough money to impress someone and having enough financial maturity to start knowing someone are not necessarily the same thing.
Would I date someone who is not financially ready yet?
Possibly.
I do not need someone to already own everything he hopes to have someday or prove a certain salary before I can take him seriously.
What I would need is evidence that, whatever his current situation is, he takes responsibility for it.
At the same time, if another woman would rather date someone who is already financially stable, there is nothing wrong with that either.
Wanting an established partner does not automatically make someone materialistic. Some women simply know they do not want the uncertainty of building with someone who is still finding his footing.
The point is not that women should overlook money.
We are allowed to have different thresholds for what “financially ready” means.
For one person, responsibility, effort and direction may be enough. For someone else, stable income, savings or an established career may be a non-negotiable.
Neither preference automatically makes someone shallow or unreasonable.
Eventually, relationships do become financial. Rent, marriage, children and emergencies all involve money.
Love cannot replace a budget.
But courtship does not necessarily have to begin at the finish line.
Maybe the better question is not, “May pera ka na ba para manligaw?”
It is: Can you pursue someone without pretending to be richer than you are, compromising the money you need to live or expecting that person to eventually carry you?
If the answer is yes, perhaps you do not need to have everything figured out yet.
You just need to be honest about where you are and serious about where you are going.
